Hello cupcakes:

If you’re here to hear about whether I made it to Tapovan, you’re going to have to wait just one more week.  I’m writing this a week in advance, because, well, there’s no cell service in the Gangotri. Lately I keep saying “a feature not a bug” about random things, and well, let me tell you, that little phrase applies here.   I’m excited to have no. cell. service.  

Another fun feature of this trip is that I’m here with my mom, Rosa.  Roro is a special lady.  My dad calls her “teflon lady” because anything difficult or remotely bad (or sometimes good) that happens just bounces off her like she’s got a non-stick coating.  She’s strong, yes, but thoughtful and deep.

Roro and I have been like friends in recent years, which is a bit of a change from my relationship with her when I was a teenager or in my 20s.  Back then, she was the MOM.  But what’s cool is that now we are friends, and I love spending time with her.

Our love can be hard to notice by a neutral third party observer.  As my truth-teller best friend Andrea lovingly noticed, Roro and I talk to each other in yells, sometimes.  Is it our Italian passion?  Our deep deep rooted patterns from childhood?  The fact that most of the times when we’re together, we are in a little bit of a higher stress situation than normal, say, hosting 50 people for Christmas at her house, or taking bucket baths while jet lagged, perhaps?  And, probably a combination of all three. 

But it’s the weirdest thing, that we know how much we love each other and, we love spending time with each other, but we aren’t just holding hands skipping off into the sunset together on this trip to India.  Isn’t that what it should look like?

To be honest, I don’t know.  I don’t know what a mother-daughter-adult-friends relationship can look like, and I don’t know what’s possible.  Especially on a high-stress trip like this.

Thank you for indulging me, here, because I think this is a little prayer of sorts.  I’m excited to see the healing that comes with my relationship with my mom, and what we can create together.

Also, if you know Rosa, you know she’s getting to the top of Tapovan.  Love her!!

Xoxo

Lauren

THANKS FOR READING!