Good morning buttercups,
 
Lately life has been full of shapes. When traveling along a curve, life feels a little smoother, but the changes can be so subtle that I’m surprised when I end up in a totally different place than I expected. 

But, when there’s a right angle, that change of direction abruptly hits me in the face.  The change is pretty obvious, and I can’t avoid it.  

In both situations, I end up somewhere that I didn’t plan.  My first instinct is that “wow Lauren, that sounds pretty negative. Is that true?”  And literally, at that moment, Shankar Vedantam said, as part of the newest Hidden Brain episode (I’m in the car with Wynn and he’s listening, and I’m only half listening, but my ears perked up at this one), “A long journey is rarely a linear path.”  So if believing in a non linear path is negative, then so is science.

These long journeys contain side quests, like the one above. That’s where my patterns come into play. And that’s how these shapes get formed. Sometimes, when I haven’t re-tracked those deep grooves in my grey matter very much, those pesky right angles happen.  Man, they are painful. But, they’re also quicker, sometimes, or at least, more obvious. Those curves, on the other hand, can sneak up on me, and the only reason I know I’m on a curve is because I’m not in the same place I planned on. And then, looking backwards only, I can see that pattern. 

I have spent so much of my life focusing on an outcome, on where I want to go, and what I want the END to be. (Please tell me, what is this END that I was even thinking of? There’s only one that I can think of, and I promise you, that’s not what I was dreaming of.)  As a result, I missed out on actually where I was, and even what DIRECTION I was facing? Talk about being blind.

Perhaps what matters more for me, at this moment, is the NEXT step. If I ask what direction to move next - either physically, with my actions, my beliefs, my emotions - then whatever the path, I’m on it and I’m moving forward. 

I used to want to take giant steps forward. Something has changed, and now I’m content with baby steps. Well, in this moment, at least. 

What shape have you been traveling lately?  I guarantee, no matter what it is, you’re not alone. 


Love always,
 XIMXIA

PS. One of my next stops is a pretty fun one: playing Hotel Cafe on 9/7 at 7-745!! If you’re in town lmk!!  

THANKS FOR READING!