Oh, my loves, what a week.

My mom, Rosa (hi mom!) told me, with zero irony, that I am burning the candle at both ends.  Zero irony because, both my mom and dad have more activity in their life than I do, so you know, pot and kettle got together and had a baby kettlepot (me, so cute).

And secondly because Rosa has been telling me that I have had this problem since I was 14 years old.  Have I learned my lesson?  No.  You know why?  I don't know what the lesson is.  Have you ever seen a candle with two ends?  No, you have not.  They don't exist.  The person who invented a candle that burns at both ends is not at all similar to the inventors of, say, the kazoo, or windshield wipers, or non-dairy creamer.*  No, sir, the candle that burns at both ends is pretty useless.

But, take me, on the other hand.  Decidedly, non-useless.  I love to create, which is why I'm using AI to finish a novel (on youtube), challenging myself to write a song about a randomly generated topic in 60 minutes (on youtube), taking acting classes (not on youtube), in addition to writing, performing, practicing, making videos, working, working out, doing laundry, travelling, getting ready for more travel, oh being in a relationship, and friendships, and family. You know. You do it too.  But did you notice what didn't make the list?  Burning.

I am not a candle.  

All of these incredible things on my plate give me energy, life force, that je ne sais quois that je ne understand.  These creations keep me going.  And, well, sometimes I just do a little too much of all of it, and it might leave me burnt out if I'm not careful, but it hasn't for a couple years now.  Should I perhaps slow down just a little?  Maybe.  But then what fun would that be?

In all seriousness, Rosa is not wrong (she's got a great batting average, you know).  But the difference between me now and me at 14 years old is that I am not afraid of a little rest, a little darkness, when the time is right.  I swear, I didn't plan this to happen (which shows the magic of writing an email half asleep at 11:35 pm!), but this is all reminding me of a song I recently wrote about emotional down moments - our off-season, if you will:

Have you ever seen Aspen in the summertime?

When it's quiet, and there's nothing to do?

I can't change the seasons if I try

I'll take the greens and blues

No you can't fight the groove

Don't worry baby, I'm just passing through

No matter where we are, even in the off-season, there's something beautiful and amazing for us to admire and be grateful for.  And I'm running towards it, full steam ahead.

Always,

XIMXIA

*the inventor of the kazoo, windshield wipers, and non-dairy creamer all have something in common.  First person to email me with the correct answer here gets merch!

THANKS FOR READING!