plug it in plug it in

You’re at a networking event, and you’ve been there for hours. In the Vegas heat, with amazing people, including close friends. But you’ve been on your feet (boots, because, well, it went with the outfit). And then, a friend suggests a burger down the street. At a place with a booth. And air conditioning. And those biiiiig plastic cups for water and iced tea, unsweetened. And they have french fries. And as you’re digging into the first fry, still piping hot, you hear a familiar tune in the distance. You’re sure you can place it, and as you look up, you see on the television, red lips, belonging to none other than rihanna, on a computer generated karaoke looking video, as she declares, wheeeeere have yoouuu beeeen, aaaaalllll myyyyy lllliiii-iiii-iiiffeeee, aaaaalllll myyyyy lllliiii-iiii-iiiffeeee, iiii-iiii-iiiffeeee, iiii-iiii-iiiffeeee, iiii-iiii-iiiffeeee?

She is not begging. She is not sad. She is almost angry, assertively, saying to this dude (who hopefully for her, is not an actual pirate) what in gladys knight and the pips took you so long! She has been everywhere, man. He better not have been hiding. Though, Ri, if you’re worried about it, there might be something to it. I mean, it sounds like he might be a pirate. There’s a chance. Just be careful, huh?

And because, our lord Rihanna (OLR) always provides, we know there is a deeper meaning in this 2012 banger for us.

One of OLR’s primary commandments is that when thou points a finger at another human being, thou will find three fingers pointing back at thee (unless thou is Barack Obama, in which case when thou is pointing a fist at a crowd of people, four fingers are always pointing back at thee).

OLR is really going to make me work for my matcha latte today. If the question is not, where have you been, then the question is where have I been?

Where have you been?

Interrupting to show cute photos. This week, weirdly, I don’t think this actually relates at all to my thoughts. Except, well, this is literally where I have been? And where I came from?

For me, right now, the question, where have I been, is about who I am. And how I’m learning who that is. Again. Ugh, my eyes just rolled so far back in my head because I’m annoyed at myself for being here again. Alas, no, this is not a place for blame or shame. That won’t actually help me get anywhere. Ironically, part of learning who I am is realizing exactly how fixed my mindset has become. That I think I’m ___ today and therefore I’m ____ forever. Seriously, fill in the blank with almost anything, except my hair color, and it seems so true. But nothing is ever fixed.

Including me. And figuring out who I am. That’s what I’ve been doing, and honestly, it’s been really fun. It requires a lot of attention, and focus, and determination, and openness, but I’m growing, and changing. And yes, at times, I want to roll my eyes and scream at the part of myself that I’m discovering, where the Frank Lloyd Wright have you been!?!

But, oddly, I’ve been in there, somewhere, just kind of hidden. Not intentionally. Please don’t be mad at me for taking so long. I promise I’m not a pirate, just an astronaut in space. Oops!

Now, tell me, where have you been (all my life)?

Love always,

Lauren