Writing songs can be a curious business.  What makes us identify with a song?  We hear Miley singing about how she can buy herself flowers, and we think, yeah girl, you’re right, I can buy myself flowers too!  Or Billie sings about Barbies, asking, when did it end, all the enjoyment, what was I made for, and we think…when did it end! It ended! For me too! I’m just a regular Margot Robbie Barbie, like everyone else.  I’m not alone.

When you think about it like that, songs have such a huge impact on our thoughts, and we don’t really expect it.  At least, I didn’t expect to be telling myself I can buy myself flowers, or asking when the enjoyment ended.  Maybe it’s just my center of the universe tendency to think everything is about me.  However, I have heard that putting oneself at the center of one’s universe is a human trait, but I don’t know for sure, and it’s kind of meta to rely on an argument that everyone has thoughts like me in order to show that everyone has thoughts like me.  So I’m going to leave this there, before I lose myself in an MC Escher drawing inside my brain.  

The point, dear friend, is that I have found that I have frequently been writing songs about my feelings about other people, and then doing a turn around to make them about me.  Which, I swear, isn’t as narcissistic as it sounds.

In fact, you may have heard about a spiritual teacher named Byron Katie, who basically helps people work through their issues by having you judge your neighbor.  At first you think she’s crazy, because who would intentionally think of judgy thoughts about their partner, or sibling, or parent, or boss, etc. Katie’s point is that actually, those thoughts about your neighbor expose the thoughts you are really thinking inside yourself, often about yourself, and they are never 100% true, even when they’re about ourselves.  They are opinion, not fact.  Remember that lesson from 2nd grade?  Yep, I know I’m still learning that lesson today.

an example of living in my universe

So I have been using Byron Katie’s turn arounds for my songs.  A great example  is one that is going to come out very soon. I basically wanted to say to my man, I don’t care if you get fired! Let’s get the eff out of dodge and start a new life.  And that’s how we wrote it.  And then, one of my co-writers, Dajaun, had this incredible realization that we should turn the lyrics around.  Instead of focusing on the amorphous “you,” look inside.  And that’s what we did.

If I got fired I could let go

I’m so tired of the cycle

When I’m free I won’t be so broke

Busted bank but I buy back my soul

Does this apply exactly to me?  Honestly, it does in some ways.  Did you expect anything less? As I already told you, I can make everything in the world about moi.

What songs do you identify with? Are you a Barbie, or perhaps a heartbroken Dua Lipa?  And what do you think about your neighbor? 

xoxo

Always,

Lauren

THANKS FOR READING!